Terrori$m

I urge you to donate even $100 to one of the funds that will undoubtedly make their Christmas, New Years Eve, Martin Luther King Day, Easter, Arbor Day, Fourth of July and third Saturday of every month that much brighter, shinier and video-game-noisier than they would have been if Mommy or Daddy had run down the stairs just a wee bit faster. Or if they had the nerve to perish in a less spectacular way. Car crashes are a dime a dozen.

My sincerest sympathies to the families of the firefighters and police officers who bravely and more importantly, willingly and knowingly, sacrificed their lives so that their relatives could afford a five-bedroom house in North Caldwell, NJ. Hey, maybe they'll be extras in next season's "The Sopranos." That won't be enough to bring back their much-missed relatives, though.

So, please, give as much as you can because no one can expect a widow to survive on the meager life insurance offered when a cop or firefighter is killed in the line of duty. How can anyone be expected to survive on a policy that pays a mere seven times their loved one's salary? They don't teach fiscal responsibility at the academy, after all.

It's refreshing to see that the survivors are not battling over the funds that are so rightfully theirs. I've never seen a group of people so grateful for the kind of financial assistance that is afforded the victims of every disaster. When asked about the way the money is being divided, Star Ortiz, widow of a WTC victim and appreciative benefactor, said it best: "It's really not fair."

Since Sept. 11, 21-year-old Ortiz, who has an 11-month-old daughter, has depended on her parents and small handouts from her husband's employer to make ends meet. Thanks to the blind generosity of the American people and the NYC employers fearful of being viewed as unpatriotic, Star and others like her might never have to get a job or learn how to budget in light of catastrophic events. This country was built on poor planning, lack of foresight and an arrogant entitlement attitude, damn it, and if Americans can't be free to ungratefully suckle from the teats of charities and taxpayers, the terrorists have won.

In closing, my heart goes out to all of the people who lost family members due to this first act of terrorism ever. I wish I could understand what you're going through, but I, like every other American who didn't lose someone in these attacks, could not possibly grasp what it must be like to have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners minus one relative, plus one camera crew. Your suffering is unique in the annals of human history, and you will be rewarded justly for it. Godspeed.

Providing jack-off material for white misogynists since 1997.

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