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Growing up, my mother forced me to watch "Degrassi High." She vowed that, come Hell or high water, she'd make me a proud patriot. Her torturous methods included viewing foreign programming to show the miserable living conditions in other nations. Given its proximity to the United States, much of her ire was directed at Canada. She feared I would make that northern trek, and renounce my American citizenship in return for socialized health care.
She did all she could to prevent that by feeding me a diet of American and Canadian youth TV shows.
Americans had "Saved By The Bell." Wholesome, attractive teenagers with shiny, bouncy hair embraced moral absolutes, and a paternal figure showed them the way. Punishments meted out ranged from no television for one week to no television for one month. If a character faced a serious problem, rest assured it wasn't a main character. They were upstanding citizens who helped solve the problems of lesser beings. It accurately depicted our wonderfully innocent country.
Canadians had the immoral "Degrassi High." Epileptic ice queens. Punk whores with babies. Alcoholic mothers. Activism. Abortion. Drug dealing. Unattractive gimps. Suicide. Queers. Drunk driving. All with actual consequences!
So, I rightfully feared this hedonistic culture, with their toques and chesterfields and spiky-haired teens.
But now they've gone too far. Canadians are making potent marijuana to ensnare helpless American children -- perhaps to addict yet another generation of American children on the Degrassi High.
What devious minds would produce an illegal drug to export to our youth?
And more importantly, how do I get some? You know, to show kids what they should say "no" to. Kids need visual aides.
© The Misanthropic Bitch, 2000
Providing jack-off material for white misogynists since 1997.
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