Over a year ago, I wrote about the inanity of anti-porn initiatives, such as certain New York cable companies playing music over pornos before 10 p.m. It wasn't even here-comes-the-pearl-necklace porn music. It was elevator music.

Since then, I have received close to 300 hits from the Senate, yet no senator has fallen under my spell and declared himself a fervent supporter of pornography.

Ironic, since men in power tend to have the strangest fetishes and strongest proclivity toward pornography, although not surprising because few Americans are willing to admit pornography is merely a harmless diversion from the banalities of life. A politician willing to concede that pornography is no more devastating to the morality of Americans than an intern sticking a cigar in her twat is committing political suicide.

Politicians are acutely aware of America's strangely hypocritical stance on porn.

We like sex. We get off on watching other people have sex. We accept the President's bizarre sex habits. But under no circumstances should we allow it to be flagrantly aired in the open, lest children (yes, those mythical children) lay their innocent eyes upon it.

Two book clerks from Oklahoma have suffered the wraith of America's love/hate/disgust relationship with sex. They will stand trial for violating that state's archaic obscenity laws.

Oklahoma's dedication to the eradication all that is obscene reared its ugly head in 1997, when Oklahoma City police scoured neighborhoods looking for copies of the Oscar-winning film "The Tin Drum."

Now, their attention has turned to one of the mildest pornographic magazines in existence Penthouse.

The book clerks, Affinity News employee William Gregory and Whittier News Stand clerk Darrell Penn, face up to 15 years in prison and a fine of up to $25,000 after selling copies of Penthouse to undercover police officers.

Oklahoma statues make it illegal to buy, sell, barter or deliver any picture, drawing, video or photographs depicting acts "of sexual intercourse or unnatural copulation."

Prosecutors allege the photos in the November and December issues of Penthouse violate those obscenity laws because they depict sexual intercourse and oral sodomy.

Should Oklahoma authorities ever bear witness to Larry Flynt's magazine, Hustler, all hell will break loose. (And the police department's evidence room will be the most frequented hangout.)

In Cincinnati, Flynt is already facing charges of pandering obscenity, disseminating material harmful to a juvenile, conspiracy and engaging in a pattern of corrupt activity.

Flynt's Cincinnati store had the nerve to sell one of America's wide-eyed, innocent teenagers (all of whom participate in wholesome activities and are easily corrupted by their jaded elders) pornographic videos, leading to the charges against Flynt.

The 14-year-old boy was sent undercover by the Hamilton County prosecutor, which begs the question: Is it worse for a teenager to be a shill for the government or purchase "Fame is a Whore on Butt Row"? Which is more damaging? Being a whore or watching a whore?

Due to the government and two irresponsible parents allowing that 14-year-old to play snitch, Flynt and his brother face up to 24 years in prison.

As parents continue to pass the child-rearing buck to the government and mewl about "the childruuuuun," the number of "smut peddlers" charged with obscenity will increase. Parents want them out of business, off of the Internet and in jail because little Monistat might inadvertently stumble across a cum shot while Mommy and Daddy are waxing the $40,000 sport utility vehicle that put them into debt.

While it is unlikely Flynt, Gregory or Penn will be convicted of the charges leveled against them, their trials serve as a wake-up call. We still live in a stratified society, where celebrities and politicians can be as nasty as they want to be, while the rest of us have to look over our shoulders for fear the local sheriff is peering into our windows trying to catch us engaged in illegal sodomy.

Providing jack-off material for white misogynists since 1997.

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